


How To Charm Your Spider

by Nrem511



Series: Short and sweet Spideypool [12]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics)
Genre: Bottom Peter Parker/Top Wade Wilson, Cock Rings, Deadpool being Deadpool, Domestic Fluff, Established Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Panic, Peter Parker Loves Wade Wilson, Rings, Sexual Humor, Shameless Smut, Top Peter Parker/Bottom Wade Wilson, Valentine's Day, Wade Wilson Loves Peter Parker, Wedding Rings, spideypool-freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nrem511/pseuds/Nrem511
Summary: Wade charms a reluctant Peter into celebrating Valentine's Day. He has the perfect gift in mind. Peter just wants to see his boyfriend happy, so plays along, until he makes a surprising discovery.A fluffy smutty Spideypool Valentine treat.Thank you for reading xoxoxox❤❤❤
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: Short and sweet Spideypool [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532615
Comments: 12
Kudos: 90





	How To Charm Your Spider

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: Very tiny mention of past Wade angst and mention of losing consciousness during sex. 
> 
> Once again my Google search history has been greatly enhanced researching this fic 😁
> 
> Illustrations by me.🎨
> 
> Come and say hi on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/nrem511)  
> 

💘💘💘

"Ohhh Petey it's the first day of February!" Wade announced, practically jumping on the spot. "You know what this means?!”

Peter shook his head. He suspected it would probably be one of his boyfriend's quirky anniversaries. "No idea Red, but I'm sure you will tell me."

"It means there are only two weeks until we get to spend our very first Valentine's Day together! It's SO EXCITING I think I might burst!" Wade beamed, ignoring the look of disgust on Peter's face.

"Ack no, please. I hate that stupid materialistic nonsense! The modern version of Valentine's day is a clever ploy by big brands to bully people into buying crap they don't need!" Peter set off on a rant, leaving Wade no room for interruptions.

"But...it's _romantic_." he mumbled.

"No Wade, it's not. It's _forced_ romance, fake. The corporations blind people into believing some cheap piece of cardboard with nauseating platitudes and a bunch of overpriced flowers is a declaration of love! It's not. It's feeding off people's sentiments. I don't need any of that shit to tell my boyfriend I love him," Peter barked, standing on his imaginary soapbox.

Wade stared at him with hearts in his eyes. Peter's passionate convictions only made him more attractive to The Merc and to hear him say the words "my boyfriend" and "love" in the same sentence turned his heart into pure marshmallow. 

"So masterful. Oh my god Baby Boy, I think I need some help here." The Merc winced while palming a sizable boner in his pants.

"Wade, what the… Only you could get turned on by me denouncing Valentine's Day!" Peter gasped as his boyfriend smiled weakly.

"I can't help it, your voice, you drive me crazy when you get so riled up." 

"Oh really? Well Mr. Wilson stop your whining and get in that bedroom right now! I won't stand for anymore of your nonsense! Do you hear me?" Peter commanded loudly, a tiny smirk playing on his lips.

_Look at his face, he’s so adorable._

"Whoop! Now this is ROMANTIC!!" Wade tore his clothes off and headed straight for the bedroom.

💘💘💘

“Wade, this isn’t our first Valentine’s Day together. I distinctly remember you turning up for patrol last year wearing a giant heart-shaped badge with Spidey’s face on it.” Peter slurped his coffee as they sat eating breakfast the following morning.

“Yeah and I tried to tell you how I felt and you webbed me to a water tower. I even organized a romantic dinner for two at that Mexican place where we get the good tacos, but by the time the webs dissolved they’d closed for the night and I figured you didn’t want to go there anyhow.” Wade moped into his cereal, his lip permanently fixed in a pout. “What I meant was that this is our first Valentine’s Day as boyfriends...you know, _official_.” He sighed, “But you don’t want to celebrate it with me.”

_Please change your mind, let me make a fuss of you._

“No Wade, what you actually said was that you wanted to ‘wreck my peachy ass’ and then you tried to tackle me on the roof. Why didn’t you just ask me out to dinner? I might have said ‘yes’.” Peter winked at his boyfriend. He felt a bit guilty for rejecting him at first, but Deadpool’s constant flirting and inappropriate behavior made Peter think he was only interested in one thing. “I liked you, but I wanted more than just sex.”

“Yeah, I know, but when did Deadpool ever do subtle? I figured I’d pounce first and talk later. You sure played hard to get. I tried for almost a year to win you over and then when I finally gave up you suddenly made a move. What changed your mind?” Wade had never actually taken the time to ask Peter this question. He felt so happy when the web shooter admitted he wanted them to be more than ‘just friends’, he fell at his feet in a sobbing heap.

_Ah the memories._

“Ellie changed my mind,” Peter replied softly.

“Ellie? Why what did she say? You know she has a huge imagination...she takes after me.” Wade grinned. The image of his daughter’s face always filled him with glee.

“She didn’t say anything, well not after you tried to shut her up for blurting out how much you’d told her about me and how I was ‘daddy’s bestest friend in the whole world’.” Peter rolled his eyes and laughed. “No, seriously Wade, when I saw how you acted around your daughter I guess something just clicked in my mind. I think I finally saw the real you.” 

“Holy shit biscuits, if I’d known that’s all it took I would have introduced you a lot sooner. You’re the only person I trust enough to meet my little girl. She kept asking about you, so I figured why not. Turns out she was the key to finally capturing those sweet Spidey buns.” Wade gazed at Peter with a dreamy look in his eyes. 

_My perfect Baby Boy._

_Please be my Valentine._

“What? I know that look. You’re thinking about stupid Valentine’s Day again aren’t you?” Peter booped Wade’s nose and felt himself thawing to the idea of a romantic date with his boyfriend, but not on a day dictated by mass consumerism.

“Petey my sweet BunBun please can we celebrate it? I never had anybody be my Valentine before. I promise I won’t overdo it, please... _with sprinkles on top_ , you won’t regret it.” Wade crawled down on his knees beside Peter’s chair and took hold of his hand. “I know you think it’s fake, but we’re not fake, our love is real and just once in this life I would like to take part in something I’ve only ever dreamed about. Pleaaase.”

“Does it really mean that much to you?” Peter asked incredulously.

“Yes Baby Boy, now I finally have someone special to share it with…I just thought it would be fun to join in. I know it sounds dumb, but I never imagined I’d get to experience any of this stuff...” Wade gazed up at him with a pitiful expression.

_Look into my eyes ...see how sad they are...come on Pete, say yes!_

_I can almost taste that heart-shaped candy._

Peter caved, he couldn’t resist Wade’s puppy dog eyes. He felt mean for reacting grouchy. Sometimes he forgot that his life experiences were very different to Wade’s. He felt a tinge of sadness thinking about his boyfriend missing out on stuff most people took for granted. Wade never had anybody love him like Peter did, accepting his appearance without hesitation. He knew most people gave The Merc a wide berth when they caught sight of his damaged skin.

_Fuck them. If my baby wants to celebrate Valentine’s Day then we will._

“Okay. Just this once we’ll do it, but please don’t take me to a restaurant or buy me anything expensive. Let’s just do something together, you and me, make it romantic in our own way.” Peter stroked Wade’s scalp, leaning forward to kiss his forehead.

_I love you my sweet scarred prince._

“Really? Woohoo I can’t wait! Leave it all to me sweet cheeks, you won’t be disappointed. I promise I’ll make it super special.” Wade jumped to his feet and danced round the table. He had the perfect gift in mind. 

_I’m going to buy my Baby Boy a ring._

The Merc smiled to himself.

_Not just any ring._

He felt a twitch in his pants.

_I’m buying Peter a cock ring._

💘💘💘

"Our cock rings come in an assortment of materials: Leather, rubber, silicone, nylon, aluminum, steel, titanium, silver, gold, platinum, wood, plastic, bone, horn, ceramic, glass, and semi precious stone. What did you have in mind?" The sales assistant at the Adult store looked bored as he listed all the options.

The Merc grinned suggestively.

_Wood? Bone? Horn? Woof!! ...heh heh_

"Erm...do you have any pictures...like designs?" he asked innocently.

The assistant took out a laminated folder and slammed it on the counter with a thud. "Here, knock yourself out." 

Wade's eyes lit up as he turned the pages, imagining Peter in every single one of the rings. "Holy shitpickles...I should have worn my white pants."

_Oohhh Petey Pumpkin your pretty pp will look so scrumptious._

"Some of these designs are ...eh...kind of _complicated._ What the hell does this thing do?" Wade pointed out a shiny silver ring with what looked like a slim cone-shaped solid silver plug attached to the curve.

"Yeah, that's actually a popular design. The ring fits round the cock head and then you insert the plug inside the urethra ...it's called _sounding._ " The assistant replied matter-of-factly. 

Wade crossed his legs, not sure if he felt scared or turned on.

_I need to pee._

"Do you have any idea what design you would like? I mean we have the usual flat ring model or curved can be more comfortable. We have round or flattened oval shapes, horseshoe, ribbed. Are you thinking shaft ring or glans ring? We also have rings that fit round the cock and balls. I can get our artist to customize pretty much any design you want." The assistant pointed to a poster behind him advertising their resident artist. 

"Oh geez...I just want my boyfriend to have a nice shiny ring..."

*Deadpool side-eye*

"I know that sounds kinda boring, but I don't even know if he's going to like it, so eh...maybe I'll leave the more _exciting_ designs for another time." Wade smiled. 

_Deadpool definitely needs a customized black and red ribbed shaft ring...in leather!_

"Hey man, don't worry about it. A simple steel or titanium ring is both sexy and classy. You could get it inscribed, give it a personal touch." The assistant showed Wade some font designs. 

"Ohhh, what about pictures...like a spider? I have an idea for an inscription. You got a pen?" Wade scribbled his design on a scrap of paper.

****

The assistant nodded. "Niiice. So, would you like surgical steel, titanium, silver or are you thinking gold? Personally I recommend titanium for first timers, it's anti allergenic, lightweight and very durable."

"How shiny is it? I want my boy to sparkle," Wade enthused.

"Titanium is highly polished and doesn't tarnish so _Baby Boy_ will dazzle like a diamond." The assistant gave him a toothy grin, making Wade growl in response.

"Hey, zip it bozo."

_Only I get to call my Petey 'Baby Boy'!_

"I'm going to need some measurements. What's the circumference of your boyfriend's co-...eh... _member_?" The assistant adopted a slightly more formal tone, not wanting to antagonize Wade any further.

"It's kinda like this ...oooo." Wade made an O shape with his mouth, mimicking giving a blow job.

"Hm okayyyy, nice action, but I'm gonna need exact numbers buddy. This is a rigid object, you really don't want it too tight. Last year a guy got his dick stuck and had to have it amputated...man that was harsh." The assistant winced. 

"Oh that's not good. I can't have my Petey in pain. Okay, so what's the best way to measure it without him knowing?" Wade needed all the help he could get.

"Hm tricky, but not impossible. You could try this." The assistant handed Wade a blindfold. "Get him hard and then use some yarn or ribbon to measure his dong. I'll pencil you in with our artist and as soon as you have the measurements it's game on. If you pay cash I can bump you up the list."

"Sneaky blindfold...I like it!" Wade chucked a wad of notes on the counter. "That should cover it…I'm outta here."

_Got a date with my baby's juicy junk._

"You need a receipt?" The assistant yelled after him.

"Nope! If you rip me off I'll shoot you," The Merc warned as he dashed out the door.

💘💘💘

"Mmmm Webs your ass is making me hungry," Deadpool crowed. Lying on his side on a midtown roof he gazed over at the web shooter's butt. "Two perfect steamed buns ...they're calling me!"

Spidey laughed as The Merc's stomach emitted a loud rumble. "You wanna get a bite?" 

"Hell yeah, just slide over here and let me eat that Spider pie," Wade schmoozed, trying to grab Peter's leg. 

"No, stop it, we're on patrol. Behave yourself Pool!" Peter huffed, trying to hide his amusement.

"Yeah that's it my sexy arachnid, use your strict voice. I've been such a bad Deadpool, I need a real _firm_ hand!" He crawled on all fours towards his boyfriend.

"Quit playing games, we've got work to do." Peter looked down at The Merc as he clamped on to his leg.

"Spidey...please rescue me, I'm suffering...it's serious!" Deadpool whined, trying to grind against Peter's foot.

"What is wrong with you tonight?" Peter already knew the answer as he smirked under his mask.

"I'm HORNY!" Wade cried. "I can't help it...every time I look at you my dick thinks it's Christmas."

_Oh yeah sweet cheeks, I need you blindfolded and begging for my lips on your pretty popsicle._

"Come on Baby Boy, it's been ages since we got hot and heavy on patrol. When was the last time I fucked you in the suit?" Deadpool curved himself round the web shooter, wrapping him in his big arms. "You know you love it when we get down and dirty on a rooftop...let me suck your Spidey sausage."

_I got my special ribbon all ready to measure that hard candy._

" _Spidey sausage_? Seriously Pool? Oh my god you are so cheesy, but ah...hm...this feels nice." Peter leaned into Wade's large frame, loving the feeling of his muscular body. The Merc knew how to push all his buttons.

_Every single time._

"Oh yeah this is _really_ nice...mmm gimme those cute little muffins baby." The Merc squeezed Peter's ass cheeks while he lifted him up. Spidey instinctively coiled his legs around Wade’s middle.

"You really want to do this here? It's cold and wet. We could swing by the apartment for a _cosy_ pit stop," Peter suggested, dreading the thought of sex outdoors in February. 

"Can we still get jiggy in our suits? Deadpool needs his Spidey fix." Wade thought he may as well take advantage of the situation.

_So sue me...getting all squeaky with spandex and leather is totally one of my kinks._

"Oh Spider-Man will _fix_ you up real good...let's go." Hooking his arm round Wade's torso Peter shot out a web to the building across. "Hold on big boy."

As soon as they reached the apartment they clambered through the kitchen window, grabbing each other in a frenzy of lips and limbs.

"Bedroom?" Peter breathed.

"No, too far...living room...closer," Wade grunted.

They stumbled onto the couch, scattering the cushions. The Merc tried to hold back, needing the right moment to bring out the blindfold. They'd used one before, but Peter wasn't too keen. He said watching Wade’s face as he sucked him off plugged in to all his fantasies.

_Ah sweet Peter, always so kind._

_What the hell does a cute bunny like him see in my fucked up moldy corned beef hash features?_

Deadpool’s self-deprecating thoughts gave him an idea.

"Eh...Baby Boy?" he mumbled sheepishly.

"Yes? Hey, you okay? You don't seem so into this now." Peter could tell Wade was holding back.

"No noooo I am _SO_ into this, but...ehm...ah it's nothing…" Deadpool sighed loudly.

_Take the bait BunBun!_

"Oh no, you're not doing that, what's going on? Did something happen today? Is that why you're all antsy?" Peter felt his Spidey sense tingle.

_Who's upset my baby?_

Deadpool drew circles on his boyfriend's thigh, pretending to act affected. "Yeah...I guess. Some days people's comments just hit me harder. I know I look like tinned dog meat but to hear someone say it kinda sucks."

_Hey don't judge me! These are desperate times!_

"What the fuck? I'm so sorry that happened to you sweetheart, are you feeling a little self-conscious? What can I do to make it better honey?" Peter's soft voice made The Merc feel a bit guilty, but now he had the perfect reason for the blindfold.

_The things I do for love._

"You could wear this," Wade whispered as he handed Peter the blindfold. "I know you like to watch me, but I'd feel more comfortable if you didn't...just for tonight."

"Okay darling, if it makes you feel better I'll wear it, but please remember that I love you... _all of you_. To me you are the sexiest man on the planet." Peter fell for Deadpool’s performance, making The Merc beam as he pulled up his mask.

_Get that Spidey sugar stick ready for a licking._

With the blindfold secured over his Spidey mask, Peter lay back on the couch. He could feel the gloved hands roaming over his spandex covered body, kneading and stroking every curve and muscle. While he missed the enthralled look on his lover's face, knowing Wade felt secure gave him a much bigger thrill. He would do anything to make his boyfriend happy.

"Oh hello, somebody is a big bouncy boy. Petey, you're so hard!" Wade took the ribbon from one of his pouches and a marker pen from another. Positioning himself between Spidey’s legs he deftly slid the ribbon round his dick and measured its girth, marking the spot with the pen.

_My Spidey is a hefty boy...I can't wait to 'put a ring on it'...yeah you know the song._

_Erm Deadpool I'm pretty sure that's not what the song is about…_

_Uhhh sure Marjorie, cause you're such an expert ...sheesh give a guy a break would ya!_

"What are you doing?" Peter could feel Wade tying something around his dick.

"Oh nothing, I'll show you later. I promise it's cute," The Merc cooed while taking a picture with his phone. 

"You better not put that on any kinky websites you follow, Mister!" Spidey warned, but he soon forgot all about it once Wade’s warm lips mouthed over his sensitive tip. 

_Oh fuck that's good._

As Wade took Peter's full length in his mouth, he carefully untied the ribbon and stuffed it back in his pouch.

_Mission accomplished._

_I can't wait for Valentine’s Day._

💘💘💘

A few days later Peter and Wade were having a pizza and movie night. While they waited for the food to be delivered, talk turned to a particular photo on Wade's phone.

"I still can't believe you tied a red ribbon round my dick and took a picture! Promise me you didn't show anybody." Peter frowned at The Merc as he grinned mischievously.

"Hmm Spidey’s love rocket in a red bow would definitely break the Internet…quick get me my phone," he teased. Seeing Peter's glare he softened his voice to reassure him. "ah don't worry sweet cheeks, I would never show anybody. Your pretty pecker looked so perfect I thought I'd gift it to myself." 

_Oh that's smooth!_

_Bad Deadpool._

"Yeah whatever Prince Charming, just make sure you delete it in a few days. Last time you took a pic of my ass and then you lost your phone. At least that one didn't have Spidey’s suit in full view," Peter huffed, trying not to laugh. He could never really get mad at Wade, his cute expressions just melted his heart.

_I wonder what he's got planned for Valentine’s Day, he's staying very quiet about it._

Peter suspected it would be something cringeworthy. He'd already told himself not to take it too seriously and just let Wade have his happy moment. This was about compromise and allowing the man he loved to indulge his wish.

_I just hope he's not gone too far and done something crazy like buy me an engagement ring._

Peter didn't really have any faith in marriage. He thought it pointless to spoil a good relationship with something so binding. He'd watched close friends' lives fall apart one broken marriage after another and with his own disastrous attempts at relationships he felt sure he would fail horribly at married life. While he loved Wade wholeheartedly, Peter had resigned himself to never treading that path.

The only happy marriage he'd ever known was between his aunt and uncle, but they'd struck it lucky all those decades ago. Their story was one of true love and devotion set in a very different time.

_Two perfect souls destined for each other._

He wiped away a little tear. Thinking about his aunt and late uncle always made him emotional. He saw Wade looking at him and blushed.

"You ok Petey Pie? You look so cute with those pink cheeks. Do you need a hug?" Wade saw the tear but he guessed Peter felt embarrassed. Sometimes when his boyfriend went quiet The Merc would see a far away look in his eyes and wonder where his mind travelled to.

_What's floating around that big brain of yours my perfect Spider-Angel?_

"Sorry, I was just thinking about my Aunt and Uncle. They had such a happy life together," he mused. Narrowing his eyes at Wade he shook his finger. "Oh and by the way I'm not watching one of your goddamn sappy romance movies. I need some fast cars and explosions."

"Whatever you want sweetheart. I'm just gonna take a quick shower before the pizza gets here. I left twenty bucks on the table, that should cover it." Wade blew him a kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.

Peter smiled to himself as he flicked through the movie choices on the streaming service. The sound of Wade singing in the shower gave him a warm glow. Even though they'd only been an official couple for ten months, their life together felt _right,_ uncomplicated.

_He chased me for an entire year, even longer if the rumors are true._

_Well handsome, you got me in the end._

The sound of the intercom broke his thoughts.

He got up and buzzed the delivery guy in, grabbing the twenty off the table. Hearing a knock he opened the door.

"Pizza! That'll be nineteen ninety-five." the guy handed over the pizza and took Peter's twenty with a disappointed look.

"Shit... _oh sorry_ , eh hang on I'm sure I've got some money for a tip." Peter spied Wade’s jacket and rifled through the pockets. He pulled out what he thought was a dollar bill, only to find a piece of paper that looked like a shopping list. Glancing over the content his heart almost stopped.

_Oh no._

_Wade, what have you done?_

"Eh Sir I need to make a move, don't worry about the tip. You guys are regulars, I'll get it next time." The delivery guy walked over to the elevator, leaving Peter dumbfounded in the doorway.

"Oh hey...I'm sorry. Yeah double tip next time!" He felt bad for not giving the guy a few bucks, but all he could focus on was the list from Wade’s pocket.

One sentence screamed at him.

_'Don't forget to pick up the RING'_

He stared at the piece of paper. Aside from Wade’s writing there were numerous little doodles of different ring shapes and a cute artwork of Deadpool gazing at Spidey with bunny ears surrounded by hearts.

Peter stood rooted to the spot with the large pizza box in one hand and Wade’s list in the other.

_Oh baby, why?_

_I don't want to get married._

_But I also don't want to break your heart._

_What the hell am I supposed to do?_

He heard the bathroom door open and quickly hid the list behind his back, smiling broadly at Wade as he appeared in a towel. 

"Hurry up or the pizza will get cold...smells gooood," he said with an over jovial tone. 

Wade suspected nothing and ducked into the bedroom, giving Peter time to shove the list back in The Merc's jacket.

"I'll get the drinks, you want soda or beer?" Peter tried to sound normal, but he couldn't stop himself from silently crying in the kitchen. 

"Beer please, honey buns," Wade called from the bedroom. 

Peter held his hand over his mouth as the tears spilled down his face. In the space of ten minutes he felt as if his whole life had come crashing down around him.

_Oh Wade, my sweet sweet darling._

_I can't do it. I can't marry you._

_I don't want our life to change._

_I'm sorry._

He suddenly felt two warm hands on his shoulders as The Merc pulled him into an embrace. Peter let it happen, he needed the security of those big arms around him.

"Sweet cheeks, I don't know what's got you so upset and I won't pry, but if you need to talk I'm here." Wade ran his fingers through Peter's hair, kissing his forehead, keeping him close.

_And if I find out some fucker has made my baby cry ...you better buckle up!_

_My girls are due an outing._

Wade always referred to his Katanas as his 'girls'. He'd not found much use for them lately, being on his best behavior for his boyfriend.

"Ah Wade I'm sorry, my stupid emotions are ruining our movie night. I think I'm just tired. My healing factor isn't as strong as yours and stopping that runaway subway train the other day I must have strained myself more than I realized. Sometimes the psychological effects run deeper than any physical damage." Peter hated lying, but he couldn't let on about seeing the list. He would have to play along, find a way to deal with his feelings.

_Find a way to spare Wade's feelings...when I turn him down._

_Oh god he's far too sensitive, he'll take it all out on himself._

Wade had a tendency to self-destruct when life threw him emotional curveballs, he didn't handle heartache very well, especially rejection. This usually resulted in him self harming to the extent of trying to end it all, but being immortal this proved an impossible and painful route to take.

Peter only witnessed it twice, once when Ellie's guardians told him she didn't want to see him. Wade had missed her birthday and desperately tried to make it up to her, but she shut him out and refused to speak to him. He'd left all the gifts and cards and bunches of balloons outside her home, taken himself to the nearest tall building and jumped. When that failed he repeatedly shot himself until Spidey had broken into his apartment and stopped him. Together they'd sat on the floor in a puddle of Wade’s blood until the warmth of Peter's hugs brought The Merc back to his senses.

_I felt him die in my arms…_

The other time was after their first argument as a couple. Wade disappeared for three days until Peter tracked him down with the help of his friend Matt Murdoch whose hypersensitive hearing picked up on Wade arguing with his 'voices' in an abandoned hotel building. When Peter found him he barely recognized the web shooter, muttering and mumbling to himself, rocking back and forth in a dark corner of the rundown foyer. His skin looked raw and there was blood smeared all over the floor and furnishings. It took Peter weeks to get his boyfriend back to himself and he swore he'd never let anything get him in that state again. 

He'd taught Wade how to communicate, open up about his fears and feelings. He'd moved him into his apartment, given him a safe space, allowed him to flourish. In return Wade nurtured Peter, prided himself on being the more domestic of the two, cooked and cleaned and made sure his _special boy_ wanted for nothing.

_He's so good to me._

_How can I keep him from falling if I say 'no'?_

Wade picked him up and carried him into the living room, placing him on the couch. He grabbed a blanket from the armchair and draped it across his boyfriend, making him all snug.

"You stay right there while I get the drinks and some plates for the pizza. I don't want you to lift a finger, I'll even feed you if you like. I am ordering you to rest." Wade couldn't bear seeing him in tears. He took Peter's welfare very seriously. 

"Thank you honey, but really I'm fine," Peter protested.

_I'm not fine ...but how can I tell him?_

He felt like a fraud. All that time spent helping Wade to speak his mind, encouraging him to open up about his past and the voices in his head, yet Peter himself still bottled most things up inside. He struggled to express his deepest thoughts and emotions, instead always deflecting onto other people and their needs. Under the guise of ‘helping others’ as Spider-Man Peter conveniently avoided dealing with his own problems.

_I guess the mask really does hide my identity._

The rest of the evening they sat snuggled up on the couch watching action movies and eating pizza and various snacks. Wade insisted on feeding Peter and wouldn't let him lift a finger, even carrying him to the bathroom when he needed to pee. Part of him felt ridiculous, but he gave in and let Wade fuss over him. 

_He looks so happy…_

_Damn it Parker what are you scared of?_

_It's just a ring._

💘💘💘

"Peter darling, if it's ' _just a ring'_ why has it got you spooked?" Aunt May poured him a cup of coffee and joined him at the kitchen table.

"I don't know, it just feels too soon...or _too much._ I mean, we've never talked about getting married. We've not even been together a year." Peter stirred some milk into his coffee and let out a long sigh.

"Goodness, that sounded like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders." She rubbed her nephew's arm. Ever since childhood he'd had a tendency to overthink things and catastrophize. Aunt May put it down to the loss of his parents at a young age. That constant edge of anxiety that something terrible would happen if he made the wrong choice. His drive to protect others and care for those more vulnerable than himself lay firmly rooted in his past. It came as no surprise when he told her he'd fallen in love with someone like Wade. She saw his desire to help this damaged man and rebuild his confidence. Aunt May felt proud of her nephew's selfless heart and his devotion to Wade, but sometimes she worried he neglected his own needs in favor of helping others. At twenty-five he seemed older, world-weary.

"If I turn him down I might lose him," Peter admitted, scared of the implications of such a rejection.

"My sweet boy, I doubt very much that Wade would ever leave you. It might dent his ego a little bit, but I'm sure if you explain he will understand. On the flipside, getting engaged doesn't mean you have to get married straight away. Some engagements last years. You could take your time, set a date when you're ready." Aunt May tried to put a positive spin on Peter's dilemma, but it only seemed to deepen the frown lines on his forehead.

Peter couldn't tell her the truth about the extent of Wade’s last breakdown and how he feared he would lose him, not physically, but mentally. He didn't want to be responsible for his boyfriend diving headfirst into the abyss of his own already fragile sanity.

_She doesn't understand, but I don't want to worry her._

"Peter, do you love Wade?" Aunt May fixed him with her famous stare that always seemed to pierce right through him.

"Yes," he replied, picturing Wade's kind eyes in his mind.

"Do you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with him?" 

"Yes, I don't want anybody else." Peter felt no doubt when he uttered those words. Wade was the only one for him and he knew with his whole heart that the feeling was mutual. 

_He would follow me anywhere...in fact he already does most of the time._

_Sorry Wade, your stalker cover got blown months ago._

"So why would a ring change things? Why would a simple piece of jewelry and a loving promise change the way you feel about each other?" Aunt May reasoned. She held an imaginary mirror up to her nephew's face and forced him to confront his fears.

"In theory it shouldn't, but I know how these things go...I would mess it up. Every one of my relationships ended in disaster. Something bad always happens when I let my guard down. Things are good between me and Wade, why can't we just stay the way we are? Why do we need a ring to prove we love each other? Aaargh...this what I get for agreeing to celebrate stupid Valentine’s Day!" Peter folded his arms and sulked.

"Oh dear, have you considered that those relationships failed because you weren't suited to the other person? I've watched you with Wade and I see how happy he makes you and I'm pretty sure he would do absolutely anything for you. I think you should be honest with him, talk to him, explain your worries. Or you could take a few days to think things over, you might see that this isn't such a bad idea after all." Aunt May hoped Peter would reconsider. 

"Yeah, maybe. If only all married couples were like you and Uncle Ben. You were so perfect together." Peter mused.

"Pfft...you think our marriage was perfect? Haha oh no we had to work hard at it. Yes, in our later years we settled into our life together but part of that was down to you. We never had children of our own and it almost caused us to split up, but the day your parents passed and we saw you standing there with your little backpack and that red comfort blanket we just wanted to give you all the love in the world. From that day we became a family and suddenly things just fell into place." She squeezed Peter's arm and smiled at him. "Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out."

Peter sat speechless at his aunt's revelation. He'd placed their marriage on a pedestal, but the reality sounded very different. They were still the best example in his eyes, but this new information softened his fears about his and Wade’s potential future as a married couple. For one, they had Ellie to consider. Peter had started to bond with the youngster and if he married Wade it could offer her that extra bit of stability. Suddenly it wasn't just about his insecurities. He needed to look at the bigger picture.

_Maybe it could work._

_Maybe there is no such thing as a 'perfect' marriage._

_Maybe I just need to stop worrying._

_My boyfriend loves me so much he's bought me a ring...nothing 'fake' about that even if it is for Valentine’s Day._

💘💘💘

As Valentine’s Day drew nearer Peter acted more and more affectionate towards Wade, blowing him kisses and making any excuse to touch him and whisper in his ear. He'd even started fantasizing about changing his name once they were married.

_Peter Wilson-Parker ...hm not bad._

_Oh but Wade Parker-Wilson sounds even better._

_'I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Parker-Wilson...you may kiss your husband.'_

_I bet he'll want to wear a dress. Whatever makes my baby happy is fine by me._

The web shooter had done a complete U-turn on his previous objections. With each day his imagination gathered more steam, filling his head with romantic wedding ideas. 

Completely oblivious to his boyfriend's day dreams Wade lapped up all the extra attention. He loved it when Peter got clingy with him, enticing him into bed at every opportunity. His boyfriend's roaming hands gave him a permanent erection and The Merc couldn't be happier. 

Even out on patrol it seemed like the roles were reversed, with Spidey doing all the flirting instead of Deadpool. 

_Such a frisky Spider...I love it!_

_I can't wait to give him his Valentine's gift._

_Maybe one day I could give him a real ring._

Wade had considered buying Peter an engagement ring months ago. He’d even selected one with a bright red ruby at his friend’s antique jewelry store and asked him to keep it safe. He wasn’t sure, because he remembered a conversation from before they got together in which Peter said he didn't believe in marriage. He listed a scathing bunch of reasons and poured scorn on the whole idea of matrimony. Deadpool had teased him saying he just needed to find the right person, like _him,_ but Spidey slammed that idea down and made it very clear The Merc would be the last person he would ever marry.

_Yeah...but that was then._

_He didn't mean it...or did he?_

Wade wondered if Peter still felt the same way, if he still wouldn't marry him despite their relationship being so great. He'd already faced Ellie's questions about their future. She asked him if she could sleep over at their place and would she have her own room. Then she asked if they would get married and could she be the 'best man'. Wade's heart had melted at that last request and he assured her if that day ever arrived she would definitely be the one to walk him down the aisle to join his beloved.

_He would look so handsome all dressed up in a fancy suit ...and me in a fabulous wedding dress._

_As long as I could keep my mask on._

_I wouldn't want to scare the guests._

_Forget it Wade, he already told you it's never going to happen! Why would a hot guy like him want to marry a rotting sack of fish guts like you? Can you imagine the wedding video? Gorefest alert! Nah the best you can hope for is a pity fuck just before he dumps you for some cool Avenger._

"Oh hell no! You guys are not doing this to me! Get out of my head you assholes!" The voices hadn't crept into his psyche for a while and Wade had no intention of listening to their taunts. With Peter's help he'd managed to build his confidence and learned to stand up to his inner bullies.

Wade resolved to put all thoughts of nuptials on hold for a while. If Peter could mellow his strong convictions about Valentine's day then over time he might change his mind about marriage. The Merc was in no hurry. As long as he had his Spidey by his side he could face the world head on. 

_One step...or web...at a time._

"So what have you got planned for Sunday big boy? I bet it's something naughty." Peter nudged Wade in his ribs as they sat breathless on the kitchen floor. The Merc had been preparing some zucchini for a pasta dish when Peter suggested another more _exciting_ use for the cylindrical vegetable. Never one to pass up kinky food sex, Wade slathered on some olive oil and eagerly slid the smooth green length inside his boyfriend's needy hole. Not content with coming all over the kitchen counter, Peter continued to grind and moan, dropping on all fours and begging Wade to fuck him.

_Oof, my baby is unstoppable!_

"Sunday? Ohhh you mean that day we don't talk about? *whispers* _Valentine’s Day?_ " Wade grinned at Peter's eye roll. "Hm I may have some plans, but you will just have to wait and see...oh and it definitely won't be zucchini pasta."

Peter burst out laughing. He could hardly believe how excited he felt. He'd gone from denouncing Valentine’s Day as a capitalist leech on society to fluttering his eyelids and giggling at the mere thought of his boyfriend getting down on one knee to celebrate their love. He'd become everything he previously hated about planned romantic gestures. 

_It's Wade's fault...I'm so weak for him._

"Just promise me we won't be going to some schmaltzy restaurant full of annoyingly showy couples." He sneered at the thought.

"Oh no, I intend to spoil my Baby Boy right here in our little love nest. All I ask is that you give me a few hours to make some _preparations,_ but other than that we are good to go honey buns." Wade had it all worked out. He'd bought new silk sheets for the bed and subtle mocha and vanilla scented candles. He would cook Peter's favourite Udon noodle dish and ply him with a crisp pink champagne to loosen the mood. He planned to give him his gift over dessert of white chocolate cheesecake with a home-made raspberry coulis. The Merc salivated just thinking about it, unable to differentiate between his hunger for the cheesecake and seeing Peter's smooth length sporting the shiny titanium ring.

_He's going to look so pretty._

"Okay sweetheart, I'll head over to Aunt May's for a few hours, take her some flowers. Your lovey dovey vibes have definitely rubbed off on me. Dare I say it, but I'm actually looking forward to Valentine’s Day this year. Damn you Wade Wilson, you've thawed my icy heart." Peter straddled Wade's lap with a twinkle in his eye. "Ready for another round? How about I treat you this time?" 

💘💘💘

As Sunday arrived Peter found himself sitting in his aunt's living room eating her home-made apple donuts with a knot in his stomach. He could barely swallow the doughy treat as his nerves took over. 

"Oh Peter those flowers are so beautiful, you shouldn't have. Oh, is everything okay with the donuts? I didn't use as much sugar this time." Aunt May walked in with a large vase containing Peter's bouquet.

"No, I'm sorry, they're really tasty. I'm just saving some room for Wade’s dinner later. He said he's making my favorite. I'm guessing noodles and knowing Wade there will be enough for ten people." Peter smiled at his aunt, trying to mask the nausea rising in his chest. 

_What is wrong with me?_

"How are you feeling about _things_ after our last talk? Do you think he's going to propose later? I can tell you're nervous, you've shredded that napkin." She picked up the torn bits of tissue and rolled them into a little ball. "If you're not sure about how you feel it's okay to tell him the truth, just remember that. Wade loves you, he will understand."

Peter nodded, he rubbed his clammy palms together in an attempt to calm his pounding heart.

_I'm going to say 'yes'._

_So why am I shaking?_

"I'll pack you up some donuts to take home. I know how much Wade loves them. That boy has such a healthy appetite." Aunt May's voice drifted off as she went back into the kitchen. It always made Peter smile the way she referred to his six-foot four built-like-a-brick-wall boyfriend as a 'boy'.

_I love you Aunt May._

Two hours later Peter made his way across town back to the apartment. Every step made his belly flutter. He'd practiced his 'surprised' expression for the moment Wade presented the ring, but it did nothing to stem the adrenaline coursing through his veins. 

As he reached their apartment building Peter checked his reflection in a store window, nodding at his chosen attire. Black snug fitting pants with a black shirt and a single-breasted charcoal overcoat, paired with a dark red scarf to keep the February chill at bay. Peter's healing factor meant he could withstand large temperature fluctuations in his suit, but in his daily wardrobe he liked to keep his muscles warm. 

"Well Red, here I come. I hope you're ready for me." Peter took a deep breath as he knocked on the front door like they'd agreed. Neither had mentioned what day it was in order to preserve The Merc's special plans.

Within seconds Wade flung open the door with a massive smile on his face and a huge bunch of red roses.

"Happy Valentine’s Day Baby Boy," he crowed, handing Peter the flowers. "For my special spider, I love you."

"Wow, they are fantastic, thank you sweetheart. I love you too." Peter felt himself blush a similar color to the roses as he stepped inside their home. Straight away he noticed the soft lighting and delicious aromas wafting in from the kitchen. 

"Mmm something smells amazing, you've been a busy bee. Ah the table looks so nice and everything feels cosy with the candles. You've made it really special Wade." Peter glanced round the room as he ran his fingers along the soft linen table cloth. Wade had decked the dining table out specially for their 'date'. Peter noticed he'd placed a little pile of gifts on the far end, all wrapped up in light blue paper with a pattern of tiny pink hearts and baby cupids. Peter took a card from his overcoat pocket and frowned. He'd not bought Wade a gift. 

_Parker, you dick._

The fact that he'd bought a card was nothing short of a miracle, but he'd agreed to take part and seeing how much effort Wade had gone to showed him The Merc meant business.

"Here baby, I'm sorry it's not much…" he mumbled as he gave Wade the envelope.

"Aw Petey, a card? For me? That's so cool, thank you sweet cheeks." Wade's happy reaction made Peter's heart swell.

_Oh Wade, you are so cute._

_"To my darling Wade, every day spent with you makes my heart beat faster. You make every moment special and words are not enough to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you, now and forever. Here's to the future. Happy Valentine’s Day. Special kisses from your Baby Boy."_ Wade read the contents of the card out loud with tears streaming down his face. To him this was the most precious thing he'd ever received. 

"Oh...Peter, it's b-beautiful. Thank you for this. I don't think you realize how much those words mean to me." Wade sniffed, laughing through his tears as Peter embraced him. 

"You big softie, what am I supposed to do with you?" Peter gazed into Wade's glossy hazel eyes.

"Kiss me and you'll never miss me," Wade promised, puckering his lips ready for a smooch.

They kissed for a few minutes, tender kisses full of doting adoration. Gentle touches and soft whispers, both savoring the moment, not wanting to rush things.

"Damn Pete, every time you kiss me like that it feels like the first time," Wade hummed, his face a picture of delight. "So my sexy Valentine, Are you ready for your first gift?" 

"My _first_ gift? How many are there? I told you not to get me too much." Peter wagged his finger and Wade playfully bit the end. 

"Really? I don't remember you saying that. Anyhoo... there are three gifts, but you can't open them all at once," The Merc teased.

Peter looked at the flat oblong shaped package and cautiously unwrapped the cute paper.

_Okay relax, this is clearly not a ring._

His face lit up when he saw the contents. 

"This is lovely, baby. We look so handsome. Thank you." Peter gazed at the framed picture of him and Wade. He remembered the day well. It was in the fall when the leaves were ablaze with color. They'd taken a trip up state to get out of the city for a few days. A couple they met took the photo for them, standing on a wooden bridge with the river and forest behind them. The autumnal sunshine made the trees look sumptuous, mixed shades of yellow, orange and red. The two of them looked happy and in love, standing side by side, Wade with his arm round Peter's shoulders.

"This is such a thoughtful gift Wade, I'd forgotten we took this. Those people we met were nice. Ah I'm sorry I feel bad for not getting you a gift." Peter felt emotional looking at the photo. He quickly wiped away a few tears, not wanting to spoil the mood.

"Peter, _you_ are my gift. Being able to share this life with you is the best gift I could ever wish for. You've given me so much already, this is my way of saying thank you." Wade stroked his boyfriend's cheek, loving his pink blushes.

_Oh I just want to eat him._

_Hm talking of food._

"I hope you're hungry, I've made your favorite Udon noodles with spicy tofu and mixed vegetables and ... _eh_ ...I may have made too much. Ooohhh and wait until you taste the dessert, it's super sexy." Wade skipped off into the kitchen leaving Peter to fawn over their picture.

A few moments later The Merc reappeared carrying the food on a large tray. Noodles and lots of little side dishes, all created with special flavors and ingredients designed to impress. Wade had meticulously studied his boyfriend's tastes. He left nothing to chance, this was guaranteed to seduce him. 

_How to charm your spider._

"Oh my god this looks so yummy." Peter drooled over the steaming bowl of noodles Wade placed before him, inhaling the garlic and ginger infusion. His eyes darted over the rest of the food, eager to taste each dish.

"Now quickly before we eat, here is your second gift." Wade watched while Peter unwrapped the long thin box. The young man felt less anxious this time.

_This definitely isn't a ring either._

_He's taking his time, setting the scene, getting me in the mood._

_Well, so far it's working!_

"Oh my god, these are so cool!" Inside the box was a pair of chopsticks decorated in red and blue with a webbed motif and tiny spider emblems at the top. Wade had commissioned them at a Chinese art studio where the owner owed him a favor.

"You can use them to eat your noodles," The Merc explained, pulling out another box with his own set in black and red. "Look I got some too."

"Oh no these are far too nice to eat with, I'm going to save them." Peter stroked the chopsticks lovingly.

"Don't worry, I thought you'd say that so I got you a spare set. They're hand-painted so not entirely identical, but close enough." He grinned proudly as Peter didn't hesitate to tuck into his noodles with his Spidey chopsticks.

It pleased Wade to see Peter enjoying the food, his eyes gleaming in the candle light. They toasted with pink champagne and Peter sneezed when the bubbles went up his nose. Wade could watch him for hours. He loved 'The Peter Show', as he called it. 

_Better than anything on TV...yes even The Golden Girls ...forgive me Saint Bea._

_He's just so cute ...even his sneeze is perfect._

Peter giggled, the champagne making him tipsy and a little horny. He watched Wade clearing away the dishes and eyed the last gift, gauging its size and shape.

_It looks bigger than a ring box, but maybe he's disguised it...or maybe it's a decoy gift and he's got the ring hidden somewhere...like in the dessert!_

"Ready for something sweet Baby Boy? This is guaranteed to blow your mind!" Wade proudly presented two large slices of white chocolate cheesecake and a little jug filled with coulis. "I added a special ingredient, I hope you like it."

_Yes! That's it! He's put the ring in the cheesecake...omg okay just stay calm and remember what you practiced._

_"Oh baby, I can't believe it...you want to marry me?"_

Peter smiled nervously as he took his first bite. It tasted phenomenal, but he couldn't really enjoy it. He wanted to smush the entire thing so he could find the ring and throw himself at his boyfriend.

"Have you guessed yet?" Wade asked, hoping for some feedback on his prize creation.

"Hm...no, I'm sorry what am I guessing?" Peter replied confused.

"The special ingredient...it's ok, it turned out more subtle than I thought. I added maple syrup to the base to give you a little Canadian treat." Wade grinned.

 _Get you ready for a much bigger Canadian treat...me!_

"Oh, eh yeah I can taste it baby, mmm it's delicious. Thank you." Peter continued eating the dessert with a mixture of relief and disappointment. He didn't want to appear ungrateful for all Wade’s hard work, but with every minute that passed his excitement waned. 

_Maybe he changed his mind._

_Maybe they didn't have the right ring._

_Maybe …_

"Peter?" Wade smiled softly as he held the last gift in his hand. "This is something I chose especially for you...well it's for both of us, but mainly for you. I hope you like it and I hope I made the right choice."

Peter stared at the gift, too scared to open it. 

_Oh boy, this is it! This is the ring._

Overwhelmed by panic, Peter’s mind backtracked. He’d allowed himself to get swept up by a flighty romantic notion. He didn’t feel ready to commit to something so binding.

_I can't do it...it's too soon._

_I made a mistake._

_I don't want to get married._

_Oh Wade…_

"Aren't you going to open it? I think you'll be surprised." Wade could hardly contain himself. He wanted to rip the paper off and see the look on Peter's face.

_I hope I didn't fuck up._

"Eh...yeah okay...ooh I wonder what it could be." Peter swallowed the lump in his throat as he peeled away the paper to reveal a smooth black leather box with a silver spider emblem embossed on the top.

_This isn't a ring...or is it?_

_The box looks too big and what's with the spider?_

Biting his lip, Peter hesitantly opened the box, bracing himself for what lay inside, dreading the inevitable conversation that would follow.

_I'm sorry Wade...but-_

"OH!" Peter gasped, his eyes fixed on the shiny titanium ring...the _big_ shiny titanium ring, engraved with Wade’s favorite nickname for him. 

_What the …?_

"Do you like it? Oh please say you do...but if you don't and I messed up then I'm sorry." Wade was almost in tears. 

"Baby, is this...I mean it's _beautiful,_ but am I right in thinking this is a _cock_ ring?" Peter didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

_Wade Wilson, you total dork!_

_Of course this is 'the ring'_ _he got me, what else should I expect from Deadpool?_

"Yeah, I got it made special. Remember the red bow I tied round your sexy Spidey salami? That was a trick so I could measure it." Wade preened at his own ingenuity. 

“You are one sneaky boy, but full marks for originality. I was not expecting this. I even joked with Aunt M...eh oh ...I told her you would probably do something outrageous.” Peter cringed, he’d almost blurted it out about finding the list.

_Aunt May! What do I tell her when she asks about ‘the ring’?_

_Yeah...we got ‘engaged’ in another kind of way...without any clothes on._

“Are you sure it’s okay Petey? You don’t look too pleased. If you don’t want to wear it, I’ll understand. I kind of jumped the gun and made a decision without checking if you’re even into stuff like this.” Wade twiddled his thumbs self-consciously, worried he’d just made a huge mistake.

_Please don’t be angry sweet cheeks._

“Hey no, are you kidding me? I love it. I’m just... _stunned_ , but like in a really good way. You never cease to amaze me Wade. I love that you keep me on my toes. I never know what you’re going to do next, no matter how much I like to think I can read you.” Peter got up from his seat. “Any room on your lap for a little spider?”

“All the room in the world Baby Boy.” The Merc quipped, holding his arms out.

Peter straddled Wade’s thighs and gazed at him, scrutinizing every scar and blemish on his face, finally settling on his warm hazel eyes. “Would you like me to try on the ring?”

“Yes...more than anything,” Wade replied hoarsely, his throat dry with anticipation.

Without saying another word Peter stood up and took hold of Wade’s hand. He grabbed the box containing the cock ring and led the way to their bedroom. When he opened the door and saw the new sheets he smiled. “Very nice. Looks like you thought of everything.”

“Almost, just give me a minute.” Wade set about lighting more candles to set the tone. “Ok sugar buns, dim those lights and let’s get naked.”

Peter pushed Wade back onto the bed and slowly undressed, purposely teasing him with every layer of clothing, gyrating his hips as he lowered his pants. The Merc just gazed at him with a huge grin. This was the best ‘Peter Show’ yet.

The web shooter wiggled out of his boxer shorts and stood before his boyfriend with an already sizable semi. Handing him the black leather box he whispered, “Would you like to do the honors?”

Wade didn’t hesitate to take out the ring, easily slipping it onto Peter’s half-hard length. It stayed in place, a generous fit, but with some _encouragement_ Wade knew it would sit perfectly at the base of his boyfriend’s cock.

_Nice and snug, ready to play._

“Hmm it’s so shiny and I like it, but...eh I’ve never worn one before. Will I still be able to come?” Peter blushed ten shades of crimson while Wade slowly stroked his burgeoning erection.

“Yes baby, in fact it will feel even better because this kind of cock ring is designed to make your dick twice as hard and give you longer orgasms. I did my homework here sweet cheeks. You’re gonna erupt like a fucking volcano, cum pouring out all over the place. We’re talking non-stop leaking junk juice, jizz soup, rivers of pearly white seed.” Wade continued to knead Peter’s cock while he regaled all the benefits of wearing a cock ring.

“Wade?”

“Yes?”

“Please be quiet...you’re killing the mood.”

“Heh...oops.”

“Why don’t you get undressed? Leave _this_ to me. Let me see you darling, all of you.” Peter touched himself using long slow strokes as he watched his boyfriend strip off. Just the sight of Wade’s big firm body made his dick _pulse_ with excitement. 

“Ah mmm yes, that’s it Red, show me those juicy pecs, let me rub myself between them. Fuck you are so hot...and you’re all mine...I love you Wade.” Peter could feel himself getting harder, but as he looked down his actual length made him gasp. “I’ve never seen it this b-big, holy shit.”

Wade’s eyes lit up like lanterns, licking his lips as he kicked away his underwear and sat on the edge of the bed. “That is one impressive candy stick, looks good enough to eat. How about you let me suck it nice and deep?”

Peter nodded, allowing Wade to grab hold of his hips and pull him forward so his face sat flush with the straining member. “Ohhh look at this eager boy...all pink and pretty with his new ring. I bet you want to slide down my throat don’t you?”

_Holy crap, talk about love muscle!_

_I’m gonna choke myself on this chub and love every second._

“Ahhh oh god Wade,” Peter called out as The Merc mouthed along the rigid shaft, tracing the swollen veins with the tip of his tongue. “Ah ahh no...ahh...stop…”

“You alright sweetheart, did I hurt you, is the cock ring too tight?” Wade drew back, worried something was wrong.

“No, sorry...it’s just s-so sensitive. I can’t explain it...it must be the ring. Please k-keep going, I need m-more,” Peter whined, grabbing hold of Wade’s head and aiming his cock. “Open your mouth...please.”

Wade stretched his jaw open and let Peter push into his mouth, feeling the firm head bumping the back of his throat. The Merc had no gag reflexes to speak of, but even he had trouble breathing around Peter’s new extended size. He wasn’t joking when he said he’d happily choke on his boyfriend’s junk. Rolling his eyes back, he took the pounding cock deeper into his gullet with every jolt of Peter’s hips. 

_Holy fuck Petey, I think I’m gonna pass out._

_Yep, here I go…_

Wade lost consciousness as Peter took things up a notch, letting his Spidey strength take over. Digging his fingers into the back of The Merc’s scalp, he relentlessly fucked his throat, moaning and crying with every thrust. He’d never experienced anything like it, every nerve in his cock felt charged, the increased stimulation driving him wild. Peter didn’t notice Wade’s lack of response, too consumed by his need to reach a climax. He could feel himself teetering on the edge, but the ring made it last much longer, drawing his orgasm from deep inside his core.

_Oh fuck fuck fuuuuck, please let me come soon._

Luckily the force of Wade’s healing factor catapulted him back to reality just in time to see, hear and _feel_ Peter crash through the most mind-numbing release of his entire life. With a deafening yell he bottomed out against Wade’s trembling lips, spilling copious amounts of cum down The Merc’s throat. 

_Ugh...I think I’m drowning...help I can’t swim._

_Mmmm if I’m gonna go, it doesn’t get much better than this._

_Best death ever!_

_I love you Baby Boy._

_See you on the other side._

Just as Wade thought he’d found his perfect demise, Peter felt his legs give way and ended up on the floor with a bump, freeing The Merc’s throat of his hardened member. Despite having just shot his biggest load ever, he still had a semi thanks to the gleaming titanium cock ring.

“Wow! Just ...ohmyfuckingeverydeityintheuniverse wow! That was ...ball crushingly stupendous, I can’t even. Petey, my brain has overloaded.” Wade sat gasping on the edge of the bed, still reeling from what he could only describe as the most important event of his existence.

_Spider-Man almost killed me with his pretty pink pickle._

“Wade, wh-what just happened? I kinda lost it. Oh my god are you okay? Please tell me you didn’t pass out?” Peter stared up at his boyfriend in horror. 

“Who me? Hell no. Listen, it takes more than your puny spider hips to knock this mangled up Merc out. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the ride Baby Boy,” he lied with a soft smile.

_Hey, why burst his bubble?_

_I want a repeat performance!_

“Okay, I hope so. Geez I can’t believe I’m still hard, look at this thing.” Peter alerted Wade to the state of his throbbing dick as it thickened once more. “I’ve never felt so fucking horny, it’s ridiculous. Are you sure they didn’t fit the ring with some kind of sensory enhancer, you know like advanced technology shit? Where did you buy it? Please tell me no Stark employees were involved.” 

Wade laughed at Peter’s dismay. “Nope, it’s all you sweet cheeks. This is just a simple titanium cock ring, nothing weird. I got it at the Adult store two blocks away, you know the one with the neon banana sign.” 

“What? No, I don’t think that’s on my list of places to shop,” Peter exclaimed half-laughing. 

Grabbing onto Wade’s knees he hoisted himself back on his feet and smirked when his cock bounced off his lower abdomen. The Merc spied it with a salacious grin and Peter knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Are you ready for some more Valentine’s fun?” Peter took The Merc’s face in his hands and kissed him, lingering as he sucked his bottom lip. “You want to get on top? Or I can get you on all fours? Or am I the one getting railed by the Wilson super penis?”

“Honestly Pete, Deadpool’s magic love wand has got some very _stiff_ competition right now. I think my pristine peachy ass needs a good drilling with your sexy power tool.” Wade loved making Peter laugh with his cheesy one-liners.

 _The sound of your laughter is like fresh rain on a spring day...it nurtures the roots of my soul Baby Boy_.

_Please don’t ever leave me._

“Who even talks like that?” Peter rolled his eyes, but in his heart he loved every corny joke, every cringey one-liner, every absurd theory and every one of Wade’s outrageous ideas. Never in a million years would he have chosen Deadpool as a significant other, but here they were, gloriously dysfunctional and hopelessly in love.

_If you had asked me to marry you I would have said yes._

_I never want us to be apart._

_It’s not too soon...it’s perfect._

“Get the lube big boy, it’s time to sit on Spidey’s smutty sex staff and bounce your way to heaven.” Peter climbed on the bed and lay flat on his back, his cock swaying back and forth as he made himself comfortable.

“Mmm sassy nickname Websy baby...oooh it looks even bigger!” Wade couldn’t take his eyes off the distended member, its veiny girth calling for him to climb on board. He loved how the cock ring shimmered against Peter’s blushed skin.

_I am going to get so wrecked._

_Saddle up that pony cowboy, it’s rodeo time!_

Wade seated himself on Peter’s thighs and dribbled lube onto the fat purple head, making the web shooter hiss the moment the clear liquid cooled his glowing skin.

“Ah…,” he whimpered.

“Feel good Baby Boy? Things are about to get a whole lot better,” Wade promised as he slicked up Peter’s cock with his hand while stretching himself open using three curved fingers.

“Hnng...Wade, p-please,” Peter urged, desperate for the tight clutch of his boyfriend’s hole. He was getting used to the slight pressure he felt at the base of his dick, the cock ring keeping him firm and ready.

“Whoop, time to mount my favorite Spidey sex toy,” Wade hollered as he eased himself onto Peter’s gushing cock. “Ahhh, _fuck_ , holy empanadas Pete ...s-so m-much _bigger._ ”

The hefty Merc winced, feeling every inch of the unyielding member filling his tensile walls. Slowly he grinded back and forth, caging Peter between his scarred biceps, flexing with every move as he leaned over him.

The enhanced sensitivity caused by the cock ring made Peter crave something _more_ , something _deeper_. Bending his knees, he dug his heels into the mattress and thrust his hips up to meet the steady grind of Wade’s slicked up ass.

“Ah yeah Baby Boy, all the way inside,” Wade keened over him, chapped lips seeking out the web shooter’s pert nipples to suck and tease while he matched his steady pace. He could feel Peter driving into him, each shove a little more forceful than the last. “That’s it sugar buns, go harder...I can take it.”

Fuelled by his boyfriend’s pleas and the added sensation of a warm mouth toying with his tender nipples, Peter sped things up. Gripping Wade’s meaty haunches he pulled him down as he bottomed out further than ever before. He could feel Wade contracting around his cock, squeezing and releasing as Peter held him firmly in place. His hips bucked with short quick jolts, keeping him deep inside the groaning Merc.

“You feel it Wade? You feel how fucking hard I am?” Peter growled, making Wade shiver.

“Yes baby, I feel it...please, I want it,” he begged.

“Yeah you can have it, it’s all for you, every juicy inch feeding your greedy hole.” Peter huffed, his voice darker than usual. Wade lapped it up.

_Holy shit, keep talking with that dirty mouth you bad spider._

"Roll those gorgeous hips Wade, use me, don't hold back...take what you need. I'll give you anything you want sweetheart." Peter loved seeing the man of his dreams getting wrecked on his cock. This time his orgasm felt nowhere near as urgent as the first one, the cock ring helping him stave off coming too soon. 

_I want this to last as long as possible, draw it out, take him apart slowly._

_I love him so much._

"I want you to come inside me, fill me up with your Spidey love chowder," Wade crowed as he bounced harder, sliding up and down on Peter's unflinching erection. "Make my belly bulge with your beefy sex baton!"

_The cheese just keeps on coming folks._

Peter stifled his laughter, trying to focus on The Merc’s moves rather than his mouth. Sex with Deadpool was definitely memorable, if slightly distracting, but nobody said it couldn’t be funny as well as mind-blowingly hot. 

Wade’s cock slapped between them with every rise and fall of his blemished body. His scarred skin stung with every hit, emitting a yelp between staggered breaths. Such a minor discomfort was a tiny price to pay for living out his fantasy of getting railed by Peter in a cock ring. “Yes Baby Boy! Yes! Ah... _ow_...ah, no pain no gain!”

“Pain? Woah...slow down there cowboy, am I hurting you?” Peter asked, gently placing his hands on Wade’s chest. Sometimes he forgot just how sensitive his skin could get.

“No, not you sweetums, it’s my stupid raw hide…” 

_That’s one for all you discerning Western connoisseurs_

_Deadpool, please stop butting in._

_What? It’s not my fault the...*cough*... writer used a retro pop culture reference ...I gotta stay cool with da kids bro! Stop gettin’ all up in my grill Homie! Sheesh, way to kill my buzz!_

_Oh for the love of…_

“Petey precious pumpkin pop tart, maybe we could swap over?” Wade ran his finger down Peter’s washboard stomach, drawing an imaginary line through the downy trail of soft dark pubes. “Mmm...so fine. Please...pin me down and stab me with your salty sword of lust! Take me sweet cheeks…...use your Spidey strength, catch me in your web.” 

_Too much?_

“Okay Red, whatever you want. Time to roll over and beg for mercy. You wanted Spidey strength...you’re gonna get it.” Peter grabbed Wade in a bear hug and flipped him over on the bed with his dick still wedged inside him. The Merc loved it when the smaller man strong-armed him, making him feel as light as a feather.

“So feisty! Ahhh ...oh yeah that’s the spot baby, _fuck!_ ” Wade didn’t get a chance to continue his witty repartee as Peter hoisted his boyfriend’s thighs up and rammed him into the mattress. The whole bed shook with the force of the web shooter’s relentless pounding, evoking long howls of pleasure from The grinning Merc.

“Ah shit Wade, you feel so fucking good, so hot, so _tight_.” Peter kept driving him further up the bed until he had The Merc pushed against the headboard with his legs hooked over his boyfriend’s shoulders. The web shooter gripped the wooden structure for more leverage, but forgot his own strength as he ripped away two chunks of the headboard in his quest to obliterate Wade’s pliant body. “Oh fuck, come here baby, get your legs round my waist.” 

Curving his hands under The Merc’s fleshy ass cheeks, Peter lifted him up off the bed and continued to fuck him while standing in the middle of their bedroom. Wade had his arms slung around his boyfriend’s neck and his legs anchored on his hips, panting and wailing as the gravity of his burly frame weighed down on Peter’s thrusting cock. The web shooter held him with ease, not even breaking a sweat as he grinded up inside him, whispering low in his ear.

“You like this? Is this strong enough for you? I told you I’d give you anything you wanted,” Peter echoed Wade’s desires as he continued to glide in and out of his lubed up hole. “You want me to fill you, come deep inside you?”

“Ah yes, please...so full. I want you to come so hard your dick feels like it’s exploding, like it’s your last climax ever, like the world is ending and coming inside me is the only thing that will save it. I want to feel your seed shoot right through me…”

“Wade...please baby, you’re throwing me off my stride.” Peter nuzzled against his boyfriend’s neck in gentle persuasion. “Just leave it to me big guy, your wish is my command.” 

Turning back towards the bed, Peter laid The Merc down on the silken sheets and carefully loosened his legs from around his waist, softly kissing his uneven skin. He needed to center his thoughts on the warm inner walls of Wade’s yearning body. He wanted to fill him, love him, make him feel like the only one who mattered. 

_Because he does matter...he really does._

_More than anything in this whole wide world._

_Be mine Wade, by my side forever._

Peter understood then that this was about more than just satisfying his man, giving him everything he longed for. This was about them, their life together, their future. 

_I’m going to buy him a ring._

_A big sparkly engagement ring._

_One he can preen about with and show off to his heart's content._

_He deserves to be happy...and so do I._

Peter knew Wade wouldn’t care what the ring looked like, he’d be just as proud to wear one made of candy as long as it meant they would always be together. 

“Mmm Petey, I love you Baby Boy...you’re so amazing...promise you’ll always stay with me, never leave me...please.” Wade pulled a pillow over his face to hide his tears. He often got emotional during sex, but Peter had never heard him say those words.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere,” he hummed as he slowly began to move inside him again. True to form the cock ring kept him good and hard, but he could feel it starting to pinch, telling him he needed to come soon, release the tension.

_As Wade would say: Give that pretty pecker a beauty sleep._

Now he knew what lay ahead, his mind felt clearer and his body responded in kind. Seeing Wade spread out beneath him, quivering with every touch of Peter’s fingertips, gave him a renewed energy. He used the melody of his breathing, the helpless moans and almost silent whimpers, to edge him along. Building up a rhythm of slow steady strokes, Peter felt his core ignite. Tiny sparks fluttered in his belly, miniature live wires lighting up inside him as he sank deeper into Wade’s searing heat.

“Ah...s-so close, k-keep going...it feels so good.” Wade arched his back, writhing and groaning. All his senses felt alive, centered at the exact point where Peter entered his body. He’d kept up the same steady tempo for what felt like hours, keeping Wade hovering close to a release. The tightness in his belly felt almost unbearable, but he knew the warm rush of relief was so near.

“Hmm Wade, baby...ah,” Peter moaned. He could feel his growing climax swirling inside, like a ball of flames rolling around in his gut. This felt different to the first time, this felt more like a surge of hot liquid bubbling up through his veins. The chafe of his cock passing through Wade’s taut rim squeezed those same veins, luring his orgasm to the surface. He could see The Merc was right on the cusp of letting go. He quickened his pace, curling his nimble fingers round Wade’s leaking cock, using his pre-cum to massage the scarred exterior.

“Ah nnnngg, oh god yes, touch me Baby Boy, please make me come,” Wade sobbed, his emotions overwhelming him. 

“We’re gonna come together sweetheart, you and me, as it should be.” Breathing the words, he felt Wade tense and pulse in his hand. 

Suddenly The Merc jolted his hips upward, his dick shooting cum like a fire hose as he came in spectacular fashion.

“Ohmygod Ohmygod...Petey...yessss! Woohoooo. Best. Valentines. Ever!” Wade howled, his cock still oozing a steady stream of cum. 

To the sounds of his boyfriend erupting with joy, Peter felt that ball of flames in his gut explode, hurtling his senses into a wave of orgasmic pleasure. He slammed his hips against Wade’s ass, reaching in as far as he could, reeling at the intensity of his release. “Ahhh...ffff-uuuck, I’m coming ahhh. I love you Wade...”

_Marry me...marry me …please..._

“MARRY ME!”

_Uh Oh._

Peter clasped his hand over his mouth, but it was too late. He looked down and saw Wade’s eyes glaze over as the tears tumbled down his face. 

“What d-did you s-say?” he stuttered, unsure if this was one of his vivid dreams.

“Marry me…,” Peter whispered, barely able to say the words, but meaning them with every beat of his heart. “You and me...forever...what do you say Big Boy?”

Wade’s jaw fell open in shock.

_Whaaaaat?? He wants to marry ME...and it’s not a joke?_

Lying there on the bed, a mess of sweat, cum and tears, Wade croaked his reply. “Yes Baby Boy, I will marry you...every day for the rest of our lives.” 

_Did I really just say those words?_

_Peter Parker, you are one sneaky puppy._

“Thank you Wade, that makes me so happy.” Now it was Peter’s turn to cry as he leaned over to kiss his new fiancé, the salt from their tears coating their lips as they met. Wade flung his arms around the web shooter and pulled him onto the bed, feeling him slip out of his body. 

“Oops...ohhh so much cum Baby Boy! Your shiny new cock ring really works.” Wade gently removed it, gazing in amazement at how even after two orgasms Peter’s cock still looked like it could manage a third.

“Ah...it feels super sensitive, but yeah I love it. Thank you for an _unusual_ but exciting gift my darling.” Peter stroked his face, kissing all round his lips and jaw. “Or should I say...my fiancé?” 

Wade lit up like a sunbeam before bursting into tears once more “Petey...it’s s-so r-romantic...I can’t believe it. Hold me baby, I need to double check this is really happening.”

“Yep it’s real...and so is the mess we’ve made. How are you still coming, Wade?” Peter clocked the flow of pearlescent fluid steadily streaming out of the scarred cock. “I think we should take a shower and change the sheets... _then_ we can cuddle and talk romance.”

“Okay sweet cheeks...oh, eh...and can we talk about rings too, but the kind that go on your finger? I don’t seem to have one. My fiancé must have forgotten,” Wade teased, loving the look of outrage on Peter’s face.

“Listen Wilson, I am getting you the biggest, shiniest, most flashy engagement ring you have ever seen. This baby will shimmer so bright you could see it from space. Now, no more whining and get in that shower before I have to spank you.” Peter winked at him with a devious glint in his eye.

“Wooooh, that’s the Webs I know and love, put me in my place you strict little spider!” wade leaped off the bed and ran towards the door opening. Just before he headed to the bathroom he looked back with a shaky smile, his insecure heart seeking the reassurance of Peter's gaze.

The younger man stared at him with coffee-colored eyes full of honesty and understanding.

 _My sweet man, don't look so worried_.

"I'm here Wade, I promise. Now go warm up the shower so I can join you...I need your big strong hands to _wash_ _my back._ "

💘💘💘

The following day Peter kept his word and took Wade shopping for an engagement ring. The Merc tried on dozens of outrageous and garish rings, beaming with pride throughout the entire shopping trip. Finally, at five o’clock in the afternoon, after walking all around the city, Wade said he knew just the right place.

He led Peter down a narrow side street, where they came to a small jeweler. Glancing at his fiancé, Wade gave him a little wink before they stepped inside.

“Ah Mr. Wilson, how are you today? Did you see my friend about the chopsticks? Oh, is this the young gentleman you mentioned? Mr. Parker? Pleased to meet you, I’m Mr. Lai. I’m an old acquaintance of Wade’s, we’ve done a lot of business together over the years.

“Yes Mr. Lai, this is Peter, my fiancé. Do you still have the eh... _item_ I asked you to keep for me?” Wade smiled at the older man as he gave him a knowing nod and disappeared into the back of the store.

“This place is great, look at all these amazing antiques. You’ve never told me about it before and what _item_ were you talking about?” Peter asked curiously. 

“Wait and see Baby Boy, let’s just say you weren’t the only one who wanted to pop the question.” He grinned as he watched the penny drop in Peter’s mind.

“You…? When?” he asked.

“Couple of months ago, but ...” Wade didn’t finish as Mr. Lai appeared carrying a small red box.

“Here you are Mr. Wilson, I shall leave you alone for a few moments, just ring the bell if you need me.” He gave Wade a little smile as he walked away.

Wade gave Peter a soft look before getting down on one knee and wincing. “Oof, no more superhero landings for me.”

“Wade, what are you doing?” Peter felt himself blush. 

“Well Baby Boy, I know you asked me if I would marry you and I said yes, but a while back I chose this ring for the purpose of asking _you_ if you would marry _me_. So, Peter Benjamin Parker, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?” Wade held up the ring with a twinkle in his eye.

Peter gazed at the ring, a small cushion cut ruby set in pale gold with tiny art deco style patterns framing the precious stone. It was stunning. 

_He chose this for me?_

“Ahem...don’t leave a Merc hanging here sweet cheeks,” Wade quipped.

“Wade Winston Wilson, I would like nothing more in this entire world than to be your husband. Yes, I would love to marry you...and thank you darling it’s beautiful.” Peter held his hand out as Wade slid the ring on his finger.

“Perfect fit…” The Merc lowered his voice with a smirk, “Just like the _other_ one.”

“Wade, behave!” Peter scowled, but he couldn’t help laughing. 

“Are you happy Baby Boy?” Wade grinned, ringing the bell to alert Mr. Lai.

“Yes, very...but what about _your_ engagement ring?” Peter wanted his future husband to feel special too. “Maybe Mr. Lai has something you would like for yourself.”

“No I don’t think he can satisfy my outrageous vulgar tastes Petey,” The Merc frowned.

“Don’t speak too soon Mr. Wilson. I have a special selection of rings I like to call ‘The Hollywood Rejects Collection.” Mr. Lai walked back into the store, giving Peter a little sideways glance as he opened the glass casing to show Wade the rings.

“Ohhhh they are amazing...so sparkly, so crass, please tell me those are fake diamonds, costume jewelry is the best!” Wade drooled over the vintage pieces, settling on a chunky pale gold ring with a large radiant cut onyx surrounded by smaller cut rubies, set in a nest of fake diamonds, that were actually cut from crystal. “What do you think Petey?”

The web shooter stared at the shimmering red, black and gold monstrosity with mild horror, but seeing the light in Wade’s eyes turned his heart into sweet billowy marshmallow.

“It’s gorgeous, just like you.”

"I'd say that's a deal Mr. Lai, my fiancé approves." Wade still felt like he'd woken up in a weird and wonderful dream, squeezing Peter's hand for confirmation. 

_He's real._

_This is real._

_Wade, you're engaged to the one person you dreamed about for years._

_Spider-Man!_

_Deadpool finally got his wish._

_I feel like the luckiest bastard on the planet._

They walked out of the jewelers with smiles on their faces, rings on their fingers and love in their hearts. 

"Where to next Mr. Parker-Wilson?" Peter nudged Wade in the ribs.

"Hmmm, my dearest husband to be, what do you say to some Mexican food? I know a great little place just a couple of blocks from here. They do amazing tacos." He pinched Peter's ass, making him yelp.

"I guess Deadpool is getting his date after all!"

"Well, I finally got you to say _yes_." 

"How could I resist your charm?"

_I always wanted you, I just needed to be sure._

Wade scooped Peter up in his arms and kissed him.

“I love you Baby Boy, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, thank you."

"I love you too Wade. Nothing will ever change that." Peter gazed at him, full of devotion for the big scarred dork who stole his heart. Stroking his face he smiled softly.

"Thank you for being my Valentine."

💘💘💘


End file.
